I joined Dads Behaving Madly several months ago, and it's genuinely changed things for me. At the time, I was struggling feeling like I was failing as a dad with nobody to turn to about the challenges of parenting. I had mates, sure, but none with kids, and certainly none dealing with what we were facing.
My son was diagnosed with autism, and those early years were incredibly tough. The outbursts, the social anxiety - it took so much time and work to help him through it. Things have improved over time, but back then I felt completely isolated. I couldn't find a network of support where I actually felt welcome or understood.
A friend told me about the group, and I'll be honest - I was anxious about joining at first. It took me a few meets to come round to it. But then something clicked. I realised we're all in similar boats here. These lads are offering advice no professional could give - real, lived, practical experience from dads who've been through it with their own kids. Advice that actually works. I started going to different meets and activities, and it's made a massive difference to my mental health.
Between my own health issues, my son's disabilities, and all the other stresses piling up, I'd reached a point where it had all got on top of me. The group gave me hope. It made me realise I wasn't alone. Whether it's the activities that help with my anxiety and depression, or the breakfast meets where we can just have a laugh and some proper banter - or get genuine dad- to-dad advice when we need it - it's been invaluable. For the first time in years, I've found my people.
From Kieron
Well where do I start, I haven't been a part of Dad's Behaving Madly for a long time but i feel so lucky to be a part of such an amazing group of dads.
I am a dad of two who works full time during the week and then I look after my children on a weekend whilst my partner works I have always found it hard to make time for himself living a busy life. I have struggled with mental health for several years now and this summer I realised that it was time I got help firstly for myself but secondly for everyone else around me who my struggles were also affecting.
A close friend who knew I was struggling told me about the dad's group and invited me along to the group and to a breakfast meet one Saturday morning and from the moment I walked into the room I was welcomed by other dads in the group and felt at ease.
Dad's behaving madly offers events and support for dads such as retreats, saunas and days out just for dads but also events for dads to take there children too. Whilst at events I have already met dad's who I can already call friends. It's good to hear other people's stories and help to support each other. I am excited for more events with the dads and to meet more dads.
Graham is an absolute legend for all he does and I am very thankful for him and the dads for giving me a lot more things to look forward to both with and without the kids. One thing I have realised is no matter how hard a day you are having other people are also struggling and could be having a much worse day than you, so be thankful and support each other.
From Cameron
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I started coming to Dads Behaving Madly because I was really struggling with my mental health. I'm a dad of three, and my wife has SEN needs as well. When I was diagnosed with epilepsy due to a brain tumour, it felt like life was spiraling out of control. I had to take early retirement from a job I loved, and my wife and I have been locked in a constant battle with the education system for years - fighting for EHCPs, fighting for professional services that our kids desperately need.
Our children struggle with their SEMH needs, which makes life incredibly isolating for both of us. When I discovered Dads Behaving Madly, I was at an all-time low. My wife kept telling me to go to the doctor, but I was too anxious to even do that. I'd heard about the group, and one night I just took the plunge and contacted Graham. Honestly, it was a lifeline.
My first meet-up was at the breakfast club, where I met some genuinely brilliant dads. I was anxious beforehand, but I came home smiling. I'd finally found dads who actually got it - who understood what it's like.
Since then, I've been surfing, done charity walks, been to more breakfast meet-ups, and done more socialising than I have in my entire lifetime. The support is real - if I'm having a hard day, I know I can message one of the lads for a chat or meet up for a coffee. Everyone's there for each other. My mental health is improving. My anxiety is improving. I'm so thankful I contacted Graham that day.
From Alan
As a Dad, it can be quite lonely as there isn't really a guidebook or manual on what to do. This is especially true when your child/children are then diagnosed with either SEN or illness.
Both my children have additional needs, dealing with Autism and ADHD and a chronic illness between both of them. It can become overwhelming as to how many different directions you are pulled in: sort out school, sort out hospital appointments, prepare support or documentation, be on hand in case school need anything, get support in to school to support the children.
When I'd looked, there were a number of groups for Mums and support networks setup but it felt a little closed off to the Dads. It wasn't that we couldn't go, or weren't invited, it was more a case of it not being what we wanted to do or the support that we needed.
My wife pointed me in the direction of Graham and Dads Behaving Madly and it all seemed to click. I wanted somewhere I could find Dads in similar situations with similar things going on in their life. Either they'd been through it or were going through it, just a support network of like minded people.
The group entry was straightforward, send Graham a message, get added to the group, instant support and help. From a man's point of view, the simpler it is to access something, the more likely it is they'll do it. The group and Graham have been great and I've felt welcomed from the get-go.
Within minutes of joining the group, the Dads were talking about feeling down and what anyone could suggest for support/to perk things up. There was a discussion on how to support children going through tough patches and a large amount of banter/camaraderie that isn't really seen very much anymore.
I instantly felt at home and thought that I could offer some support to those who were asking, as they were providing support to me.
I didn't really know how tough I was finding it until I actually joined the group, I'd have good and bad days and it really impacted general life and my mental wellbeing. Waking up now each morning and having a message saying 'good morning', it just keeps you lifted and ready for the rest of the day.
It's not the big sweeping gestures, it's the small simple things that keep you going and create a real friendship within the group. I think that's what I'd been missing most as it's very difficult to talk to other dads about SEN or children with additional needs, when either their children don't have them or the Dads have no interest in it.
The group have been so supportive and it's making the general struggle of life a whole lot more bearable. So far there's been a sauna trip with cold-water therapy and a hospitality day at a local football club. There's weekly and monthly meetups and loads of activities always going on.
Before it felt quite isolating and I was quite negative thinking, now the environment feels very supportive and I have a lot more hope for the future.
From Edd